Corn Chips and Faux Pas

There is a small group of us in the craftshop—the relative (or purported, depending on who’s asked) intelligentsia, if you will—that seem to find time for lengthy dialectics on obscure and abstract topics. Lately, one guy’s opportunistic bent, and the occasional social faux pas that it can induce, has been the topic of discussion.

A few weeks ago, one buddy and I were sharing some corn chips when this individual came up to join the chat. My buddy poured a few more chips into his bowl. I did the same, and then threw the bag to the newcomer in the discussion, telling him to knock the rest of the chips out. Grinning, he said, “Thanks, I’ll just hang on to them and eat them later with my spread.”

“No,” I chidingly drawled, “you won’t. Give me the bag.”

Confused, he handed me the bag of chips, and I poured the chips into my mouth, growling and crunching them up (to jocularly symbolize his greed), and then threw the empty bag into the trashcan.

“No you won’t,” I continued, “because to try and hoard something we’ve invited you to partake in with us is a grotesque social faux pas.”

“But you gave them to me,” he said.

“No, I shared them with you. That is, invited you to partake in them with us. Later on, we may as well eat the rest ourselves!”

An hour of like discourse led to his continued failing to understand this distinction. What’s the protocol, he kept asking, for such and such situation? It’s contextual, I explained, and found it amazing that he purportedly had no ability to discern social dynamics. And, if that is the case, it comes from his opportunistic disposition. It’s like he has all of his little advantages corralled in front of him, delineated with an uncompromising line, and always guards them fiercely.

But, interpersonal relationships thrive on give-and-take, and while principles can never be compromised, advantages can be.